The year of birth and death: that is what I call the year I lost my mom. I gave birth to my first child and eight months later my mom died. My daughter is now three years old and while I’m still a relative newbie with this grief stuff, I’ve learned a few things along the way. Firstly, a depressing post-storm beach does not make for an ideal backdrop to honour your loved one on the anniversary of their passing. Secondly, ordering take-out Chinese food on Christmas Eve is in fact a perfectly fine way to honour your loved one during the holidays, because recreating every dish you can recollect your mother making since the early 1980s is neither sane nor realistic. And thirdly, grief is never chosen, but it can give you gifts, if you choose to find them. I got the The Phone Call in August of 2013. My mom had recently been in the hospital and my dad was calling with what I thought would be a routine update. I was immediately …